Things I Don't Fuck With, Part 1

Let it be known.. I hate spiders. I would rather fight a bear than a spider. A spider can bite me and I'm done. Dead. But a bear, I could fight a bear. Here's my plan: I would run full speed at the bear and jump at it, latching it in a bear hug. What's the worst it could to in that position? Scratch my back? Then as is ferociously roared at me, I would punch full force into its mouth. I would punch it in the tongue, then grab it and rip it out. Sure, he could try to bite my arm off but what's faster, the bear's mouth or me? Me, dude. If that doesn't work I'll just run. Bears are fast but only while running straight. I'd run into the woods in serpentine pattern. That's right.. eventually he's just get tired and forget, right? I think so. Regardless, I'd rather go through all that than have to encounter a spider. Fuck that. Spiders are horrifying. I will fuck with a bear all day. I don't fuck with spiders.

Greetings from Earth,

Jim