Ways I Can Become President Again In 2012

(from the personal journal of George W. Bush)

1. Change My Name - Technically that would make me a different person. Charlie Sheen seems pretty smart. I could go from George Walker Bush to George WINNING Bush. My second choice would be Carlos McHugeWiener.

2. Get Sex Change - This would also technically make me a totally different person. I would run as Georgia W. Bush. Now a woman as President sounds like the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. But I'd still be George W... just with a giner.

3. Change the Constitution - I would sneak in and fix that 2 term part with a sharpie. I've seen Mission Impossible like a thousand times, so I don't think it would be that hard.

4. Switch My Face With Nicolas Cage - Ya know, like in that movie Face Off? I don't know if anyone would vote for Nic Cage, but it would still be super badass.

5. OBAMA SUCKS!