Question:

How much wood would a Wood Chuck chuck if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood?

Answer:
First off, everyone should be properly informed on the subject of Wood Chucks. Although many psuedo-scientists and hillbillies claim knowledge of the species existence, the Wood Chuck is a mythical creature. It does not exist in today's society. It was created in the 1700s by English settlers in the northeast. History discrabes it as looking like a combination of a beaver and the Brawny paper towel man. The aettlers gave it the name of Wood Chuck. Although such a name suggests that the animal would be a superb chucker of wood, this was not the case. My research shows that the Wood Chuck was bred for its shiny coat and husky baritone singing voice. As the for above question, I consider it completely irrelevant to the legacy of the mighty Wood Chuck. But if pressed, I would say five. Five woods chucked in about a half an hour.

Greetings from Earth,

Jim